You’re listening to The Parents of Hardworking Teens Podcast, episode 145 - Where uncertainty lurks and hides, gently sabotaging your teens confidence and results - How to find it and then how to turn it into clarity and confidence.
Hey VIP’s. I’ve had an awesome couple of weeks since I was last here. We’ve kicked off Phase 2 with my summer intensive students, where they’re actioning and applying the training from over the summer and we’ve also kicked off my Next Level Coaching for Y9-11 and the Finish Strong coaching for Y12s. It’s not too late to have your teen join us. And it’s a combo of excitement as we all dive in and get going, but also a bit like the calm before the storm as we’re early on in the term and the year right now, so it’s the opportunity to build skills, ready for when the assignments and homework and tasks start to hit. Which is why I want to talk to you today about this word ‘uncertainty’.
Well it’s more than a word - obviously it’s a feeling. Sometimes it can be quite subtle and I think that’s exactly why I’ve found myself using it a lot lately. I think it’s often the most fitting word to describe the students I work with.
They aren’t thinking ‘I have no idea what I’m doing. Well, sometimes there might be the odd time that they think that. But most of the time, they mostly know what they’re doing, they just might not be 100% certain about exactly how to go about doing it - or even more specifically - doing it in the most effective way.
They aren’t sat in class thinking I don’t get it. They can follow what they’re being taught - understand what they’re learning in class, but when it comes to answering exam questions on it - perhaps it's the wordy problem Qs in Maths - even though they know how to do simultaneous equations or whatever, - or they can in detail re-tell the story of Macbeth, and what’s happening with each of the main characters, - but they then struggle to fully answer the question or provide the right detail in their analysis when writing the essay in English.
They know what they need to know. They understand what to do.
What is lurking in the background, often with students unaware of it, is uncertainty.
Uncertainty as to exactly what will get marks and what won’t - and why.
Uncertainty on how to get that across - in the most succinct and sophisticated ways.
Uncertainty on how much detail is actually required in each paragraph or for each quote in an analytical essay - and how to do that without waffling on, going off on a tangent or repeating themselves. How do they move up to sophisticated analysis, when they seem to always get the tick on the rubric level that says ‘detailed’.
Uncertainty on whether they’ve written enough for that 5 mark extended response question. Should they write a bit more, just in case? Do they need to include a definition before writing the rest of the answer? What about an example or a case study?
Uncertainty over whether they’ve got enough sources, quotes or references in that research task? What counts as adequate rather than comprehensive? And uncertainty when they DO hit the top mark or the A+ as to exactly why they got that this time? Precisely what made this so good - so they can build on that for future.
Or - uncertainty over how do you actually get a 20 out of 20 for an essay? Is it even possible? And NOT what would that look like because they can often go find an Exemplar or model response, but how could they do it for themselves, for a different question?
It’s these small uncertainties that hold them back like invisible strings. That - when a few of them add up or layer together can cause stress or dent confidence. And there’s no one thing that stands out to be solved. It’s not like you just get a Maths tutor to help with understanding simultaneous equations, or find an English Study Guide that explains Macbeth, because those things are solid.
They don’t need fixing
Though - by the way, that’s often what students and parents resort to buying or doing - totally understandably, because they want to at least try to do something. But then the uncertainties still aren’t solved and if anything, things feel worse, because time and effort and perhaps money has been spent, with no change.
When uncertainties aren’t spotlighted - and therefore aren’t fixed - because it can be hard to spot them - that’s really quite a big part of my job with your teen.
One of the first things I’m doing with my intensive students is having them send me previous exams and assessments so I can find them so we can then get on with fixing them, - turning the uncertainty into clarity - But when they’re left to stay lurking then this basically leads to Guessing.
Guessing at the best way to study and revise, guessing what the essay question is really asking, guessing at what will be on the mark scheme for the exam question, guessing at how much detail is required, or even guessing at how to try to then actually do these things - respond directly to the question, respond in a way that directly hits the marking criteria, and how to study efficiently.
And this is what can lead to procrastination even in the most committed students.
If ever your teen is putting something off - it’s almost always going to be because there is something that they’re not 100% certain on. (You can listen to Episode 2 - Why your teen sometimes procrastinates - even though they want to get it done - for more on that)
It can lead to a lot of wasted time and effort - whether that’s on having to re-write drafts that they realise are off track, or revising in inefficient ways, or wasting time on parts of an assignment that actually aren’t important or earning them marks or writing more in their exam answers than they need to. And then this shows up as feeling stressed - because they don’t feel particularly in control of their study, or because they’re always up against time or deadline pressure - because of that extra time and effort they’re unnecessarily putting in, but think they need to. And it shows up as inconsistent grades, getting hit and miss results. (Basically - sometimes they guessed right and sometimes they didn’t.)
And I think this is happening for a lot of hardworking students. They’re doing their best, but they’re slogging away - cycling uphill rather than taking the opportunity to learn to drive and then get about in a car.
They’re trying to guess their way to success, even though it doesn’t really feel like guessing. It just feels like part of the challenge of studying is this uncertainty as though this is all part of the test.
And it really isn’t. These are all things that students are actually kinda supposed to know.
It’s just that they are sort of expected to pick these things up, develop these understandings and skills as they go. And for most students that just doesn’t happen.
It didn’t happen for me as a student and it doesn’t happen for the vast majority of students I’ve ever worked with as a teacher or as a trainer or coach - or for the students who’s papers I’ve marked as an examiner.
I really think this stuff needs to be explicitly taught to students.
So, if you’d love to have your teen self study this with everything uploaded and delivered in a structured, proven program, then be sure to check out the new and updated 10 Week Grade Transformation Program - at www.gradetransformation.com/join
Or if you’d like them to work directly with me, make sure you’re on my email list to hear about the next opportunity to work with me in one of my coaching programs - you can get on that by requesting my free parent guide at www.rocksolidstudy.com/guide
I’d really love to help your teen turn any uncertainty into clarity so that everything becomes smoother, easier and more successful for them in their study, and they feel more confident, have a better life balance and create their best possible results.
I’ll see you back here soon - have a great rest of your day!
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